Respectful Relationships Facilitators
On Being an R+R Facilitator
Working as an R+R facilitator is a profound life-affirming experience. The opportunity to break out of the conventional educational model from inside the school system is unfortunately rare. Doing so provides a radical perceptional shift of what learning means for students and our educational communities. The simple acts of sitting in a circle where everyone holds equal physical space, to warming up our minds and bodies each session by tossing three rubber balls and calling out each others names, to inviting these children and very young adults to name and express who they are, how they feel and what they really think changes a child's world. Active, experiential learning about social issues opens their eyes and often their hearts.
I invite you to have a conversation with these kids to see what it is they do know, what it is they need and wish for our world.
With practice R+R participants learn to engage other's opinions in dynamic and respectful ways. Christina Antonick, my co-facilitator here on Saltspring discovered that the most effective way to help these young community leaders begin meaningful conversations is to for short periods of time remove the adults from the conversation. We simply listen and witness what it is they think and feel. As we well know kids educate themselves in various ways. In these brief three minute debates we as educators learn immense amounts of what and how kids think about social concerns. We are often inspired by their inherent wisdom. They begin to recognize that we live in a media driven world that does not have their best intentions in mind. By their fourth year participants begin to awaken to the endemic nature, the social virus of violence --especially as it relates to women and girls. Whether it is inappropriate humour, the magazines they buy or how they treat siblings, parents, teachers, and most importantly themselves, they learn that we are all part of the painful reality of violence and that we all have the capacity to create a more promising future.
One of the most unique challenges of this work is to see youth excel beyond the scope of what many adults have yet to learn: how systemic oppression does affects us all, including our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. For instance a recent study showed how men will neglect physical pain, not go to the doctor and incur worse symptoms, to avoid the stereotypical label of 'wimp or woos (i.e. sexism).
This program pays particular attention to the aggressive quality of how stereotypes shape and limit our choices in the world. While the need to reinforce personal self-esteem is desired in any upbringing of a child, many parents and educators unwittingly continue to entrench gender based biases. From the perennial blonde joke to how people vote with their ballots and dollars we as a culture continue to consume products, services, policies and values that perpetuate a climate of inequality and violence for many. While we may recognize the value of a tolerant society we have yet to awaken to the socio-economic loss and the lost human potential of those most affected by racism, homophobia, classicism and sexism.
This work is exhausting, exhilarating and ultimately humbling. Humanizing. I strongly encourage parents and educators to step more deeply into the waters of our youth's world, to see the social pressures they face not merely as the 'stuff' of youth but also of a society still struggling on what equality truly means as opposed to settling on past perceptions of who is more equal than others. By joining kids as allies in their own personal struggle for fairness together we will find a truer road map to a more inspiring future.
Robert Birch
Robert has worked with R+R as an adult facilitator in the Gulf Islands school district #64.
He can be reached at www.playbacktraining.com
Christina Antonick Adult Facilitator
Christina Antonick